A few fun pics

I was FINALLY able to get some pics of the kids TOGETHER!! Until recently, Grace has been unpredictable with Noah. She'd start out loving on him and end up scratching him. Now she LOVES to give him hugs and kissses. They are really starting to interact with one another and it is precious to watch!

Hug? or Headlock?
"NoNo's Nose"Sweet, Smiley Boy!

Soooooo Busted!!
Watching Barney :)
The Three Musketeers

My BFF, Leigh

Having an 11-year old, I must admit, I'm amused with the Cingular Unlimited Texting commercial. Tyler and I often disagree about what's SNF ("so not fair "for those not familiar with the commercial or the lingo). Anyway, every time I hear the tween on the commercial talk about her BFF, Jill-- I think about my BFF, Leigh.

When my parents moved into the house I grew up in when I was 3 years old, one of it's best features was my sweet little next door neighbor, Leigh. My mom says that as we were moving in, she came over and said "Hi, I'm Leigh!" And the rest was history. Leigh was just 9 days younger than me and we were pretty much inseparable growing up until about high school when different interests took us down different paths. We are both very busy ladies and we live in different cities now and admittedly have done a horrible job of keeping in touch, but we recently reconnected via myspace and were able to spend a little time together this past weekend.

One of the fun things about the two of us is that even though we are terrible at keeping in touch, when we get together, it's like we never skipped a beat! We also have some almost eerie similarities -- almost like twins separated for years and put back together to find they've been leading parallel lives. :) One of those similarities is that without knowing it, we both went through pregnancy at the same time and our babies were due within 12 days of one another. This weekend, we introduced those babies, Grace and Cooper to each other. They had such a good time and it was great to watch them playing together.

Hopefully our kiddos will give us a good reason to keep in touch. Of course, I tried to talk Leigh into moving into one of the available houses across the street so Coop and Grace could be the "new us," but unfortunately her job makes that an impossibility. Oh well, here's to future get-togethers!

A Whole Lot of Firsts!!

Whew, it has been a LONG time since I've posted. Things have been incredibly busy since our move and I just haven't had a chance to write. The kiddos have had a fun summer and there are lots of new milestones to report!

Noah (5 months)...is rolling all over the place, sitting up for short periods of time and had his first bite of baby cereal (oatmeal) yesterday. He reacted better to it than his older siblings did at first. He swallowed it right of the bat and gave me a big sheepish grin as if to say "Finally Mommy! I've been watching you guys do this for months and I FINALLY get to try it!" He only ate a little bit and I'm in no hurry to push the issue but it appears that it will at least be less of a struggle than it was with Grace (who would not eat ANYTHING other than Mommy Milk until she was 7 months old). I believe he is also telling us he's ready for his own bed because he is ALL over the place in the middle of the night (which means none of us are getting much sleep!) I wake up in the middle of the night to see a little cutie staring at me and it's just hard to go back to sleep! Luckily, this coincides with one of Grace's first (to come below), so before long Mr. Noah will finally have a real room and bed of his own.

Grace (21 months)...is talking like crazy!! She is learning to say "please" and "thanks" and is using it to get just about anything she wants! It's so difficult to say no to a sweet little voice saying "Treat Mommy, peeeeeeeeeeez!" Especially when you know it will be followed up by "Tanks Mommy!" She has picked up the word "Coke" and when we go out to eat she tries to pull one over on the waitress by saying "Coke" or "Diet Coke" when we order. Of course, she's not getting THAT no matter how much she begs so she has also learned to shake her little finger and say "No Coke for Grace." Little Miss Jokester just giggles at this routine! :) Though mommy isn't quite ready for her to yet, Grace is also showing some interest in the potty. Once every day or so she'll say "Potty" and will either pee pee or poop when she gets there. Nothing consistent yet, but she is showing lots of readiness signs so full-time potty training may be in our near future. Two days ago, after putting her down for nap, Daddy found Grace OUTSIDE her crib pointing in and saying "night night." Sooooo, we've ordered a little bed for her and will give the crib to Noah when it arrives. I am looking forward to decorating her room in extreme girly fashion. When we bought the crib stuff, I knew we wanted more kids so went gender neutral, but with Noah getting that stuff, here we come princess room!! Pictures to come when we get it done!! Grace starts Mother's Morning Out next week and will say "TyTy school, Grace school."

Both Noah and Grace had their first trip to the beach in mid-August. They both love the pool and Grace was pretty impressed with the ocean as well. She was not a big fan of sand though! She enjoyed a trip to the aquarium while we were there and didn't want to leave when it was time!

Tyler (12)...had his first Classic soccer tournament over the weekend. We traveled as a family to Asheville and enjoyed three soccer games in addition to beautiful country! Considering these were the first games the team had played together, we were pretty impressed with their performance (they won one, tied one, lost one). I think they've got real potential and can't wait to see how they progress. Tyler also started middle school yesterday. The school with the HAG program is all the way across town which means he has a very early bus pick-up in the mornings (5:58 am). He and I have BOTH been going to bed early to prepare for our early wake up. Since it's still dark outside at that time of day and his bus stop is just under half a mile away, I drive him to the bus stop and wait with him until the bus gets there. He seems to be happy with school and says the people on the bus are really nice. It really seems like he just started kindergarten yesterday, so it's a little hard for me to swallow. When Aaron and I met, Tyler was nearing the end of his first year of elementary school and time has just flown since then!!

Aaron and I (ages withheld to protect our vanity:)....are enjoying settling into our first house built and purchased together. We remain hopeful that we'll experience our first home sale sometime in the near future.

In a nutshell, that's what's been going on in our neck of the woods. With things settling down a little, I'm sure I'll be back to normal blogging frequency soon!

Love to all!

Way To Go Ty Ty!

Of course I'm talking about Tyler! Grace LOVES her big brother and she calls him "Ty Ty" and I've gotten into the habit of calling him that too. I do try not to do it when he is around his mature "tweenager" friends to save him some embarrassment. :)

Anyway, Tyler is a soccer player. He's been playing since he was 5 years old and over time has really developed some skills! He has been playing Challenge level soccer for the past two years. The Challenge Division is for players who want to move up from recreation soccer to a higher level of play and coaching. To play, you go through try-outs and if you make a team you travel within the local area for competitive soccer.

This year, he decided to try out for the Classic Division, which is defined as "for more advanced players who want to move to the highest level of youth soccer." He had great tryouts last week and we found out on Friday that occupies one of just 11 spots on the team!! It's a big commitment for him to make, but he is completely excited about it and can't wait for the season to start. Way to go Ty Ty! We are proud of you!

The Mystery of the Green Mouth

Ever had a "DUH!" moment? You know...one of those times when you just have to laugh at yourself? If so, you will appreciate...The Mystery of the Green Mouth!

Yesterday Aaron worked out of town and my parents and I were home with the kiddos. As my dad was feeding Grace Cheetos (yes, her Papa lets the junk food flow freely), we noticed that her whole mouth and tongue were green. There was some green around the outside of her lips and her teeth were even green. Now Grace is a curious little thing and her favorite way to really explore things is with her mouth. This was an ugly, army green though (not the color of anything that was actually edible) and we feared she had gotten into something she shouldn't have. The search began to figure out what mystery object she had tasted. We searched high and low. She had just gotten up from a nap, so I searched her crib for a torn stuffed animal or a stray marker she might have smuggled in in her diaper. Nothing! We searched the entire house, every single place she'd been after waking from her nap and even re-traced a path she made through the yard during a quick escape. Nothing! During the whole process I kept asking Grace "now Gracie, WHAT did you eat?" She grinned and giggled and pointed to her mouth (not exactly the clue I was looking for!) After about half an hour of searching to no avail, we called off the search. Grace seemed to feel fine and we decided we'd watch her closely for the rest of the afternoon and call poison control if we noticed anything unusual. Luckily, she had no ill effects and by the time Aaron got home, there were so many other things going on, I forgot to even mention it to him.

Fast forward to tonight...

Aaron was in the kitchen and I was in the living room and we were having a conversation. He came in and opened his mouth and stuck his tongue out at me and I'll be darned if it wasn't that same yucky harmful substance looking green! "Oh Oh Oh...How did you do that?" I asked. "Uh, do what?" he said. "Make your mouth green like that!" He returned to the kitchen and brought out a bag....a bag of Cheetos. Be sure to read the fine print (ok maybe it's not so fine...let me re-phrase that...be sure to read the huge green banner across the top of the bag)....
So...mystery solved. I showed the bag to my parents and we all felt pretty dumb (but we all got a really good laugh out of it!) In my defense, I hadn't even seen the bag when the whole thing started. Mom had just picked up what she thought was an ordinary bag of Cheetos at the grocery store and dad had given Grace what he thought were ordinary Cheetos. The thought never ever entered my mind that it could have been the Cheetos. With the mystery solved though, I will rest better tonight . Ahhh, adventures in Toddlerhood!

"Nothing Tastes as Good as Being Thin Feels" (The first in a series of MythBusters by Melissa)

If you're familiar with my blog, you know that I often like to give a little background before jumping right into the point of the post. This is one of those posts. I would like to start off by saying I love Weight Watchers. Though I was disappointed 4 years ago when I first signed up to find out they don't take away any pounds for free just for signing up (in other words, I had to WORK for every pound), it is a realistic program and when you follow it, you will lose weight. I've used the program several times -- first, before my wedding. I lost 30 lbs this time and while I was still a far cry from the NutriSystem lady whose husband calls her a trophy wife (<--gee, how nice), for me I was in excellent shape. Secondly, 6 months after Grace was born and I realized that I'd lost all of the "free pounds" I was going to lose from breastfeeding, I started the program again and got back to my pre-pregnancy weight TWO WHOLE DAYS before I found out I was expecting Noah. In an attempt to get the few extra pounds off a little quicker this time, I started again several weeks ago and lost 7 pounds within a few weeks. This week has been challenging though. I took a pretty long fall off of the "wagon" and as I was in the shower this morning, I decided I needed a pep talk!

I searched my brain for all the cute little inspirational things I've heard from Weight Watchers over the years. You know "you bite it, you write it!" and that kind of thing, when I stumbled across THE mantra of all mantras when it comes to weight loss -- "Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels!" There, that oughta do it right? Maybe it would have if I had just STOPPED thinking at that point, but that's not how I work. As I pondered the statement more, I began to doubt it's accuracy. First of all I had to think about what being thin feels like. Now, I'll admit, even when I'm on Weight Watchers, I'm usually not "overweight" by most definitions. Without work, I naturally fall somewhere between a size 8 and 12. On Weight Watchers, I usually rest around a size 6 (so we'll call that my definition of thin for me for purposes of this discussion.) So, what does being thin feel like? I think the implication there is something to do with health and sense of accomplishment. For me (and most people I know) if I'm not pregnant and not throwing up or suffering some other kind of illness, I feel pretty healthy regardless of my weight. And sure, there is some feeling of pride and accomplishment when you drop a dress size. However, if I had to sum up in one word what being thin feels like, the word would have to be....

hungry.

Of course, there are ways to combat hunger and still lose weight, but they just aren't as much fun as the good old "eat what ya want" days! As I continued to think about the phrase, I was able to "de-bunk" this myth in many ways. So here is MY list. These are the things that I think taste WAY better than being thin feels! :)

1) Cadbury mini eggs (I'm not talking about the ones with the gooey junk in the center. These have a hard candy coating over the most scrumptious milk chocolate you've ever sunk your teeth into. I'm convinced they are straight from Satan and thankful I can only get them around Easter).

2) Hershey's chocolate milkshakes from Cookout (If you've been there you know they have the world's best milkshakes in a million different varieties. I've tried a couple but boring old chocolate is my favorite!)

3) Hot chocolate from Panera (My "winter milkshake")

4) Cheetos (Though I've said time and time again that someone should invent a "Cheeto tong" to save us from orange finger syndrome, Cheetos are the greatest crunchy snack I can think of)

5) Coca-Cola (not the diet stuff, I'm talking full strength, full sugar Coke. Worth the calories!)

6) Any kind of ice cream shared with an 18-month old (Between the taste of the ice cream and the image of pure joy on the little ones face...total yum! Ice cream sandwiches are my personal favorite with the blend of chocolate cookie and creamy vanilla ice cream...pure genious!)

7) Cheese pizza from Cicionne's shared over conversation with an 11-year old (Conversations with 11 year olds are a hot commodity and if pizza facilitates it, so be it!)

8) Thanksgiving dinner items! And I'm not just talking about one day a year in November. Thanksgiving is probably my favorite meal ever. I love it all: Turkey, dressing, gravy, green beans, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, broccoli casserole, dinner rolls, pumpkin pie. Oh yes, some things DO taste as good as being thin feels!

If you'll excuse me, my mouth is watering...

Myth status: DEBUNKED!!

Look Out Doc, Here We Come!

We had a "dual" doctor appointment on Friday for Grace's 18 month and Noah's 2 month appointments. While slightly logistically challenging, it was kind of convenient to be able to get both appointments taken care of in one shot. Here's the news:

Miss Grace - the doctor says she is "sharp as a tack," and is doing great developmentally. She's running now and is going through a vocabulary explosion. She loves to point out her body parts and can name a lot of them. She has also become a great helper and particularly likes helping unload the washer, dryer, and dishwasher (let's see how long THAT lasts!) She put on a show for the doctor and had him completely wrapped him around her finger in no time. She is 33 inches tall (85th percentile) and weighs 26 lbs (75th percentile). She escaped with no shots this time.

Mr. Noah - is also doing great developmentally. He is smiling like crazy and occasionally treating us to a little giggle. He "talks" to me all the time and let the doctor hear some of his "language." He's a strong little fellow and pushes WAY up on his arms when placed on his tummy. He is 25 inches tall (100th percentile) and 15 lbs (100th percentile). Apparently Noah thinks he and Grace should have been twins and he is doing his best to play catch up. The doctor said he wouldn't be the "little brother" for long! Noah got 3 shots and had a little bit of a fever the following day. He seems to be feeling better now.

Our kind doctor just loved both of them and said he would gladly take one or both of them home with him (we may just take him up on that one Friday evening for date night! That's a babysitter I think I'd feel 100% comfy with.) :)

It was a great appointment all around and we are so thankful for happy, healthy children.

Tales from the Housing Market

Well gentle readers, as I've mentioned several times in my blog, we are building a new house and our current house went on the market while I was in the hospital prior to Noah's birth. Noah is two months old next week and I really hoped that by this time I would be informing you all that our house was sold, but alas, the market in the area is about as slow as molasses on a tree in the middle of winter. This is the first time either Aaron or I have been through the process of selling a house and I have to say all in all, it has been one of the most stressful experiences I've ever been through.

First of all, let me remind you that I am a researcher (yes, I realize I say that in almost every entry but it seems to be a convenient way to explain some of my neuroses.) :) Anyway, when we decided to build the new house, I did some research to determine what we needed to do to get our house ready. Before we decided to move, Aaron (with the help of friends) had already put in hardwood floors downstairs (thank you dad, Whit Gifford, and Scott Snow). We had enough left over from that task to do the master bedroom (which was in dire need of new flooring), so Aaron and my dad took a weekend and tackled that task. With that done, it was time to de-clutter. We rented a POD which stayed in our driveway for a couple of months while we went through the house room by room as we had a chance and packed up stuff that we wanted to take with us. During this process we also gave about 40 large trash bags full of stuff to Goodwill and threw away many, many bags of trash. Most of the rooms in our house had not been painted since the house was built in 1995 and ALL the articles I had read insisted that painting was the cheapest way to command top dollar for your home, so we painted every single room, every single inch of trim, every single door, THE WORKS! Having painted all the trim white, we needed to change out all of the outlets, so Aaron tackled that task and every single outlet and light switch in the house was replaced. With the help of friends (thank you Skinners!) we ripped very busy wallpaper down in the half bath and painted that too. Somewhere in there, we also had the carpet on the stairs and in the kids bedrooms replaced. All of these things took a good deal of time and we actually finished right before I went into the hospital. We did so much work that we actually started to wonder why we were leaving in the first place! (Noah's arrival quickly reminded us that we were out of space.)

When the realtor came to look at the house, she was duly impressed! But we weren't completely done yet. When we started having showings, we placed fresh yellow flowers in a vase in the entryway (yellow encourages people to buy things and fresh flowers make people feel home), baked cookies for the homey smell, made sure the lawn looked great, played classical music and made sure our dogs were off the premises. We were sure that the first people who saw our house would LOVE it and make an offer. They didn't, nor did the second, third, fourth or even tenth people. They said things like "love the house, but I want a 2 car garage," (ok, nothing we can do about that), "love the house but don't like that it backs up to the school" (ok, nothing we can do about that either, but we LOVE backing up to the school -- free playground equipment after 5pm and no neighbors behind us...EVER), and the kicker "don't like the new house feel" (to this one we offered to let our dogs back in the house for a week to take care of that, but still no interest).

During the course of this process we have been beaten down. There is a automated service that calls and tells you when a realtor wants to show your house. In the beginning, we got excited when we saw the number appear on the caller ID. When we found out someone was coming, we'd go through all of our "getting the house ready rituals," high 5 each other and talk about how great the offer would be when it came in later that evening! As the rejection started to pour in, we got less and less excited to see the number and we stopped putting as much effort into the showings. No more cookies, no more flowers, basically now I just remind Aaron to make sure the toilets are flushed and the seats are down.

Every realtor who sees our house tells us it is lovely and we just have to wait for the "right people" to come along, but our new house will be done in about 6 weeks and as the fear of having two mortgages sets in, we're less interested in Mr. and/or Mrs. Right...we'd be PERFECTLY happy with Mr. and/or Mrs. Right Now!

Tomorrow is a new day and there happens to be a new showing. Here's to hoping it's the Right Nows!

Dear Noah...

I've been wanting to write you a letter and it just so happens that you and big sister are both napping at the same time while big brother is at school (yes, the planets are lined up just so!), so now seemed like the perfect time. I wanted to write to you about how I am feeling during your early days so one day, when you can read, you can know what your arrival meant to our family.

When I was pregnant with your sister Grace, I had picked out a girl name and a boy name before I knew that she was a girl. A week or so after she was born, I told your Daddy that I still felt like there was a little Noah to join our family one day. We were thrilled that Grace was a girl and she brought a whole lot of sunshine to our family, but I knew our family was not yet complete. I found out the day after my 35th birthday that we were expecting another baby and I knew from the minute the second line appeared, that my little Noah was on his way.

My pregnancy with you was BUSY!! Mommy and daddy decided shortly after we learned you were on your way, that we were out of room in our current house. We have a three bedroom house, no "spare rooms," with three kiddos and mommy and daddy both working from home we were bursting at the seams. In November of 2006 we made the decision to build a new house and started going through the steps to do so. In December, we started the preparations to put our old house on the market and there was MUCH to do! In addition to all of that going on, we had Grace to chase after. With your older brother and sister, I had everything prepared way in advance, but I just didn't have time to do so with you! Throughout the majority of the time I was pregnant with you, I was the healthiest I'd ever been during a pregnancy. My blood pressure was better than it had been, my weight gain was lower, no gestational diabetes, no placenta previa. I just knew I was going to make it the whole 40 weeks with you, so thought I had plenty of time left to get things in order. But when I was 35 weeks pregnant, I got sick again and spent a couple of weeks in the hospital prior to your birth. Luckily, between an emergency trip by Nana to Babies R Us and a visit from some very nice ladies from church who threw a baby shower right in the hospital room, we got the necessities taken care of and we were able to dress you in blue for your trip home from the hospital instead of some of Grace's pink hand-me-downs.

You came into the world, healthy and screaming! Being a 36-weeker, I was warned that you may not cry at first and that you may need some intervention from the NICU right after birth, but just like your older brother and sister, you allayed any fears mommy may have had about that from the very second you were born. The first time I tried to nurse you, I couldn't get you to wake up to eat. I called the nurse in and she noticed that your little tummy was FULL of fluid (which is a pretty common thing for c-section babies, especially when their mommies had polyhydramnios). It was no wonder, you weren't all that interested in eating! She took you off to suction some of that out and our next attempt at feeding was a success. You have been a pro ever since!

On the fourth day after you were born, we were able to leave the hospital. From there, we headed to Nana and Papa's house. Our house went on the market while we were in the hospital and with me recovering from surgery and two children under 18 months, we just didn't think we'd be able to keep it in show condition. When we arrived, your sister was so happy to see us! She tries really hard to say "Baby" but right now it sounds a whole lot like "Daddy." Luckily, we are able to tell who she is talking about by who she is pointing to. Unfortunately, she is still learning what "gentle" means, so you've been scratched on the head a time or two. Nana and Papa have been really helpful at keeping her occupied so we can keep you safe. We know it won't be long until you are able to hold your own with her!

You've been with us almost a month now and already I can't remember what life was like before you arrived. You have just fit right into our family. Already, I can tell that you are going to be one determined little fellow! While you have been an easy baby to take care of so far, if you don't like something, you do not hesitate to let us know! If we're holding you in the wrong position, you will wriggle and twist yourself until you get into an acceptable one. You despise diaper changes, but now that we can put you into the water, you are loving baths. You LOVE to eat and do it often. You are the first of my babies to take a pacifier. You are very alert for your age and spend quite a bit of time just gazing into my eyes. You have me absolutely wrapped around your little finger and while they say you can't spoil a newborn, I am surely testing that theory. So far your hair is still dark, but only time will tell what color your eyes will be. Right now, they are dark gray so mommy and daddy like to tease each other about their final color.

We look forward to watching you grow and develop over the years. You complete our family, sweet boy. We love you.

~Mommy

Sharing some photos...

I've had a few people ask me to post some photos of the kiddos on the blog. I do keep a separate photobucket account fairly updated, but thought I'd post a few here for those who have asked for them. :)

Noah and Mommy enjoying the nice weather:

Sleepy boy!

My Nana's makin' my ear stick out! :)
Show me the milk!

Future Miss Red Hat Society
Hunting eggs in my paper plate "bonnet" Nana made for the Easter Parade
Ty's new haircut (Yayyyyy!)

Not Crunchy! (Just a little bit crisp...)

Those of you who follow my husband's blog know that I've been "zinged" several times in his latest entries and he has implied that I'm just shy of spending my spare time chaining myself to trees. I want to go on record saying that I have no problem with crunchy people. Some of my dear friends fall into this category and I have learned much from them. I respect those who care so much about the world we live in and deep down I do aspire to take more responsibility in preserving it. Having said all of that, I feel that I am "not worthy" of being classified that way.

As a researcher, I naturally spent a good deal of time prior to Grace's birth researching different parenting methods. I learned that there are two extremes: The "Babywise Strict Schedule Fit the Baby into YOUR Life Parents" and The Attachment Parents whose basic tenets include breastfeeding, co-sleeping, babywearing, cloth diapering, and positive reinforcement instead of physical discipline. Though there are large groups of people on both extremes, the majority of parents fall somewhere between these two extremes and adjust their parenting style based on what works for their children. Prior to Grace's birth, I declared my allegiance to the Babywise group. OUR baby was going to fit into OUR life, she was going to know who the leaders of the pack were and work herself into our schedule. I had the EASY schedule memorized (Eat, Activity, Sleep, YOU time) and it sounded GREAT in theory. I read several different books with similar themes and I was an expert on raising babies on a schedule (or so I thought).

Then our sweet baby arrived and little by little, I found myself moving to the other extreme...

Yes, I breastfeed.
I ALWAYS had one foot firmly planted in the attachment parenting camp in the fact that I was COMPLETELY committed to breastfeeding. With my first son, I thought breastfeeding was a "natural" thing and did not commit to learning anything about it prior to his birth. I knew I wanted to do it, but figured mothers had been nursing babies since the beginning of time without help from lactation consultants or breastfeeding classes, so as a semi-intelligent person, surely I could pick it up on the fly. I remember the nurse in the hospital telling me breastfeeding babies eat every two hours in the early days and thinking "yeah right. Not MY child!" After 5 days of a screaming baby who couldn't latch, I reluctantly went to see a lactation consultant. Everyone around me was telling me to give the kid a bottle, but it went against my instincts. There were resources available to me and I wanted to make sure I had exhausted all of them before giving up because I HAD done the research to know of the endless benefits breastfeeding offers babies. The lactation consultant was able to help us resolve our issues and I went on to nurse him for 10 months despite working full-time. (And for the record I was right...MY child didn't eat every two hours during the early days. He went an hour and a half tops before being ready to eat again!) Oh...you live and learn.

Luckily, I learned enough during Tyler's infancy, to be much more confident and secure when Grace was born. There was never any question about whether or not I would nurse her. She picked it up like a little champ and continued until early in my pregnancy with Noah when she chose to wean (which was an emotional roller coaster for mommy). Despite my commitment to Babywise prior to her birth, what I learned during Grace's early days is that the strict 3-hour Babywise schedule can be detrimental in the early days of breastfeeding when babies really need to nurse on demand to establish a good milk supply. My guess is that many moms abandon breastfeeding early on thinking they don't make enough milk because they have preconceived notions of how often babies should eat and only feed at those times. So, my commitment to breastfeeding caused me to generally toss Babywise to the curb before Grace was 2 weeks old. Having said that, I have found that the EASY system does work great for helping babies learn to fall asleep on their own and Grace did eventually fall into a modified version of it. She is now a fabulous sleeper so there is some merit in the basic idea. I just don't think it is realistic to expect a newborn baby to fall into a "grown up" schedule right off the bat.

On the same topic, YES, I am vehement about a woman's right to feed her child. To temper my crunchiness though, I will say that I do the best I can to be discreet and not make those around me uncomfortable. I understand that nursing a child is a wonderful, beautiful gift that is in no way sexual, but I also understand that no matter how enlightened I am, there are others who are not comfortable with public breastfeeding. Being the mother of an 11-year old boy, I also understand that it is unreasonable to expect that all people of all ages to "get" the beauty of it. We do the best we can to help Tyler understand it, but some things just come with maturity. Having said that, I think every woman has the right to feed her child in the way that is comfortable for her and her baby. I fed Grace on airplanes, in the middle of the mall, at soccer games, and even at the buffet at the Aladdin in Las Vegas. I never once heard a complaint from anyone around me, but I also made sure that I was as discreet as I could be while still allowing my baby to breathe and eat normally. I will admit though, that I have a serious problem with myspace allowing some of the most vulgar images and advertisements I have ever seen, while deleting images of children breastfeeding. To me, that is pure ignorance, therefore I am (modestly and discreetly) participating in the virtual "nurse in." It's that simple -- not the dramatic revolution Aaron alluded to in his blog -- just me standing up for something I believe in in a manner consistent with my values.

Yes, I co-sleep.
Whew, that is the hardest one to "type out loud." I know many who read this are gasping as they do so because in our society, co-sleeping is not generally thought of as socially acceptable. This makes our society different from most of the rest of the world where co-sleeping is accepted and widely practiced. For me, it's totally a convenience issue. As a working mom who needs to be alert during the day to take care of now two babies, keep the household running, AND have conversations with and conduct work for clients, I need my sleep. As previously discussed, breastfeeding babies eat often and I found getting up every two hours to feed to be more than I could handle. With the baby close by, we ALL get enough sleep and are happier as a result. I should say that well before her first birthday, Grace was sleeping through the night in her own crib and continues to do so. About the time she stopped nursing, she decided she had more room to move around in her own bed and just started sleeping there.

Yes, I am TRYING to learn to "wear" my baby.
Again, for me this one is more of a convenience thing. While I know babywearing promotes all kinds of good things for baby, I have two children under 18 months of age. I don't have enough hands to deal with them on my own. I NEED to wear one of them to be able to do the things I need to do with the other one. Having said that, I now own 4 different types of wraps/slings. I wish Aaron and I had thought to videotape ourselves as we tried to figure out how they worked, wrapping ourselves in yards of fabric and then trying to figure out where in the heck the baby went. I'm just not coordinated enough to "work" some of them, but I have found two styles that I think are going to work with a little practice.

Yes, sometimes I cloth diaper.
I'll admit it. This one even took ME by surprise. If you had told me even 6 months ago, that I would use cloth diapers, I would have laughed in your face. But, a friend of mine introduced me to today's cloth diapers and frankly, I decided to give them a try because they were so darn cute! It turns out they are not much more of a hassle than disposables and given their cost efficiency, environmental friendliness, and the fact that they are better for baby's skin, I couldn't justify NOT using them. I've mentioned that we are currently staying with my parents and in order to not overtax their washer and dryer, I haven't used cloth much while we've been here. However, when we are back home, I plan to jump back into it.

Yes, I am an attachment parent.
As they say, "if it looks like a duck..."
I'll admit it, over time I have moved closer to the attachment parenting extreme. Why? Because it works for our family. In 11 years of being a parent I have learned that it is less about research and facts and more about following your God-given instincts. I want my children to be secure and to know they are loved and the things that "feel right" to me just happen to be in what is considered the "crunchy" camp. But MY "crunchiness" is completely centered around my children. I don't recycle like I should, I don't buy organic food or natural cleaning products, I wear leather, and I don't spend NEARLY enough time outside to be worthy of the crunchy label. I'm just a busy mommy doing the best I can!

Just a side note for those who may be wondering: The "zingers" tossed from blog to blog between my sweet husband and me are all in good fun. We are the most loyal followers of each others blogs and both understand that the "teasing" is good natured.

Falling in Love

Most people remember the early days with newborns as hectic, sleepless, sometimes even a blur and while admittedly these things are true, what stands out to me most is that it is a time for falling in love. Of course, it is a time to fall in love with a new baby and Noah, like my other two, has made that extremely easy. He's such a sweet little guy. He cries when he is hungry, sleeps a whole lot, and spends an hour or two each day just checking out his surroundings. We spend a good deal of time each day just gazing at each other and I am so thankful for these times. I wish I could bottle them because if I could, I would be a billionaire for sure. I am fairly certain that he will be my last baby so I am trying to savor every single second of his "newbornness". Falling in love with the new baby is obvious. Who can help but fall in love with such a sweet, innocent little being who smells so sweet it's almost intoxicating? But the early days with a newborn are also a time to fall in love (again) with other family members.

First of all, I should mention my parents. With our house on the market and me recovering from surgery (so not able to keep a house "show clean"), they have been very gracious in letting us stay at their house. Their typical household of two has been totally over-run by our "party of five" and we really appreciate their generosity and patience with us.

Secondly, seeing Tyler interact with his younger siblings has reminded me of what a good kid he really is. Occasionally with a "tween" you need reminders of this and right now I don't have to look very hard. He's been so helpful in entertaining Grace and is totally smitten with his tiny little brother as well. It warms my heart to see him take such an interest in these little people who will certainly look up to him as the years go by.

And then there is the sunbeam. You would think little Grace would be the most "affected" by this new addition, but so far she seems to be taking it all in stride. Granted, she is unaware of her own strength, so we do keep her at least an arm's length away from Noah most of them time. Still, she is fascinated with him and seems nothing but happy when she sees he's still here every day. Every morning, when she comes in and sees him, she points and says "ohhhhhhhhh" as if to say "ohhhh, he's still here!" If you ask her where Grace's baby is, she points to Noah and grins from ear to ear. When the postpartum hormone drop hit leaving me with a short-lived case of baby blues, I mourned the fact that her "babyhood" was taken away so early, but in her own little way, she has given me the reassurance that everything is okay. She is still a baby and as long as we don't forget that, she's going to be just fine.

Finally, with the birth of each of our two babies, I have found the early days of their lives to be a time for falling even deeper in love with my husband. You see, I knew before we had children that he was a wonderful, special man, but there is something about seeing a daddy take an active part in his children's lives that makes the "small stuff" seem so insignificant. After a grueling couple of months getting our house ready for the market, Aaron's paternity leave and my "vacation" couldn't have come at a better time. It has given us a chance to re-connect and to focus on the most important thing, our family. When life gets busy, it is so important to take the time to fall in love with your spouse all over again.

As I reflect on this entry, I think I understand exactly how the postpartum amnesia mentioned in a previous blog entry occurs. All of the discomforts of pregnancy are completely superseded by the overwhelming love that follows. Second and later children everywhere should be thankful to a loving Heavenly Father for a clever plan to ensure their existence. :)

Much love to all!
Melissa

He's Heeeeeeeeeere!

Just a quick post from the hospital to report that:

Noah Aaron was born at 9:44 am on Thursday, March 15.
He weighed in at 8 lbs, 13 oz and was 22 inches long (at 36 weeks, 3 days)
The c-section went well and the doc said we were quite lucky to have decided on another c-section instead of a VBAC. Noah's cord was wrapped twice and an extremely thin uterus near the scar tissue from the last one combined with a huge baby would have made me a good candidate for a uterine rupture had I attempted a VBAC. TMI I know, but just wanted to point out that while things were a little tough, they could have been worse and we were actually quite blessed.

You may have noticed that the middle name has changed from what we had originally planned on. Daddy has been SUCH a hero during this whole process that Mommy insisted on honoring him with the middle name. We kicked around some variations of using Aaron as the first name, but we've known this baby as Noah since we were pregnant with Grace so just couldn't quite justify changing that.

Little (ok, not SOOO little) Noah is doing great. He is nursing like a champ and so far is as mellow as his big sister was (fingers crossed that that continues because we KNOW we don't deserve it!) Right now, he has really dark hair (though I'm sure because I said that -- it will all fall out tonight and be blonde in the morning). His features look very much like daddy, but he is the first of three to have mommy's blood type (hey, I cling to every little thing I can get...LOL)

We're all pretty tired after a long, dramatic couple of weeks. We hope to get to go home on Sunday and get back to normal life. All of your thoughts and prayers are very much appreciated!

All our love,
Aaron, Melissa, Tyler, Grace, and Noah (hey, hey the gang's ALL HERE!)

False alarm

For those loyal followers to this blog spot you know that Mommy thought she would be delivered today. This just goes to show that nature will not be too complacent and allow mere mortals to plan births so easily. For spring has sprung and bugs are in the air, and in her belly too. The doctor came in this morning and informed Mommy that bugs aren't allowed in the operating room.



So now we are on hold. We think the delivery will be tomorrow, but we have learned our lesson on stating definitives. If the baby is born tomorrow, the Ides of March and the first day of the NCAA tourney, maybe that will mean he is destined to be a ball player. Then again, he could turn out to be a geek like his dad.



Stay tuned. An alert will be sent out as soon as something more substantial happens. In the mean time, thanks to all for your thoughts and prayers. Both are greatly appreciated.

How does Wednesday, March 14 Sound...

for a birthday? Hopefully it sounds great because it looks like that is the day we will be welcoming baby Noah. I spoke with the doctor yesterday and he told me to pick out a birthday between March 12 and March 16. Wanting to give Noah as much time as possible to bake, yet aware of the fact that the docs would like to deliver before things get unmanageable, I thought through the possiblities...

Monday seemed too early. He'll just barely be 36 weeks and at this point every single day makes a difference. Aaron also already has a client visit scheduled for out of town that morning and hey, if we get to *choose* the date, it might as well work into the existing schedule! :)

Tuesday is the 13th -- and while I'm sure the 13th is a great birthday for those who are naturally born on it, if we have the option of picking, I'd prefer a less "unlucky" number. No, I'm really not superstitious...Aaron happens to have a meeting scheduled for that day as well.

Thursday is the 15th - the Ides of March. The soothsayer's warning to Julius Caesar, "Beware the Ides of March," has forever imbued that date with a sense of foreboding. Given that I am having a "Caesarean" Section and that there were two other potential days still available, I decided to pass this one up.

and then there was Friday the 16th. Now, I have no problems with the 16th and it would fit into our schedule just fine, but the fact is...I've already been in the hospital for a week. If I have the baby on Wednesday, I could leave the hospital on Friday or Saturday. If I put it off until Friday, I'll be here throughout the weekend. After having both of my first two babies on Fridays, I happen to know that as in the real world, things in a hospital function a little differently on the weekends. The overall staff seems a little lighter and when you need something it takes a little longer to get it. This isn't usually a huge problem, but having to wait an hour to get a nurse to come in to check my oxygen level when I was complaining of not being able to breathe after Grace was born did create a bit of a problem. As it turned out my oxygen level was quite low and I was retaining fluid in my lungs thanks to one of the medications I was on after surgery. Once the problem was diagnosed, it was remedied fairly quickly, but the scary wait for a nurse to come in was one of the few things not erased by post-pregnancy hormonal amnesia.

So Wednesday, March 14 it is (barring anything unforseen before then). We don't know yet what time the surgery will be. I know there are a couple of other patients with more extreme emergency situations scheduled ahead of me, so it will more than likely be afternoon. I'm excited and nervous and maybe just a tiny bit disappointed all at the same time. I really thought I was going to make it to full term with this one and I fantasized that on this, my last pregnancy, I might get to experience the feeling of going into labor on my own. You know...walking through the grocery store when all of the sudden my water breaks or being awakened in the middle of the night with excruciating contractions. Sure, those who have had those experiences will think I'm crazy, but sometimes I feel a bit odd about the fact that I will have had three children and never really know what those things are like (I had contractions and went through labor with Tyler but I was induced and was already on an epidural by the time they started). But I digress...

I'm having a baby Wednesday!!! I can't wait to meet him. All of the nurses in the hospital predict that he is going to be one feisty little guy. When they try to monitor him, he very visibly kicks the monitors and moves as far away from them as he can. Apparently the excess fluid he's in, in addition to making his name (Noah) extremely appropriate, also allows him plenty of room to move (despite the fact that he's huge). I've been told by nurses who have seen TONS and TONS of babies in tummies that if there was a prize for most active baby, he would win. Of course, they aren't telling ME anything I didn't know. :)

I will try to get Aaron to post details and pictures on Wednesday. In the meantime, prayers for a healthy baby and successful surgery and recovery would be much appreciated.

YEP, here we go again!

Yesterday I went for my 35-week appointment which was also a follow-up to last Thursday's hospital visit and fun-filled weekend of bed rest. I had spent all day Sunday with my trusty friend, biohazard Bob. He's a nice orange jug that I have occasional dates with throughout my pregnancies to conduct 24-hour urine collections. So, Bob in hand, I went to the appointment.

All seemed to go well during the appointment! My blood pressure, though still slightly elevated, was 143/80 (much better than it had been the previous Thursday). No protein showed in my urine on the standard office dip test and no weight gain in the last week (which would indicate fluid retention and possibly pre-eclampsia). The doctor seemed satisfied with these results and released me to go home, with the understanding that they would get the results of the 24-hour urine results in the afternoon and would notify me of the results. I asked if I could be released from bedrest and was told that I should be as much of a couch potato as possible. While there have been times in my life when that would have been a welcome prescription, that was not what I wanted to hear. However, "as much as possible" can be interpreted different ways and I rationalized that yesterday morning, with a realtor coming to assess our house (which was a mess!) in the afternoon, it just wasn't possible, so went home to help Aaron tidy up.

As I neared completion of the tasks I'd deemed crucial prior to the realtor visit, the phone rang. I could tell by the tone of the nurse's voice that the news wasn't great, so my head immediately started spinning. The basic gist of the conversation was this:

Whatever it is they test for in that 24-hour urine collection, they like it to be less than 300. Mine was 407, so they would like me to head back to the hospital. "Do I need to be prepared to stay in the hospital?" I asked. "Yes, look for the admitting office when you get off the elevator, they have a room waiting for you" I was told. Now, throughout this pregnancy, I have tried very very hard to remain strong and positive. Sure, there have been complications with both of the first two, but THIS one was going to be different. My blood pressure and other stats have been good all along allowing me to believe that things really COULD be uneventful this time. So, the news that I was going to be admitted to the hospital on the EXACT same time frame I was with Grace was hard to swallow. Not to mention that staying in the hospital is not pleasant for ANYBODY and that I had NEVER spent a night away from Grace in her almost 16 months. And further complicating things was the fact that I'm not READY for this baby yet. We have been sooooo focused on getting our house ready for the market, we haven't really had time to think about things such as where he will sleep and what he will wear.

I barely got off the phone with the nurse before the tears started flowing. It took me a few minutes to even share the news with Aaron because I was processing lots and lots of information. Eventually, we gathered up the things I needed, made sure Grace was settled in with my parents and headed off to the hospital.

And here I am...waiting. Waiting for more test results, waiting to see the doctor, waiting for time to pass, waiting to find out what the "plan" is (the doc told me last night that we'd discuss a "new delivery date" in the next couple of days), waiting for the next visit from Aaron and the kids.

The good news is that my blood pressure has been better than it has EVER been in my ENTIRE life since I checked in. 118/60, 116/56, 124/58 , etc. I actually even asked the nurse if she was sure it wasn't measuring only HALF of my blood pressure or if it was on the wrong system of measurement. The nurses have said things like "maybe your urine test will come out ok today and you'll get to go home!" But...I've lost my positive attitude about things. Somehow I have a feeling I won't be leaving this hospital without a baby and I've come to terms with that It's just my prayer that Noah will get enough time on the inside not to have to deal with complications after he is born. At 36 weeks, Grace had a few minor issues but was, for the most part, completely baked. So, I'm hoping to keep this little guy baking for another week at the very least!

Here we go again?

Yesterday started out like a normal day. I had a doctor's appointment scheduled for 2pm (a twice weekly occurence now) and I tried to plan the rest of my day around the appointment. Aaron was working out of town so I made arrangements for Tyler to ride home from school with a friend and for Grace to stay with my parents for an hour or so while I was at my appointment. Little did I know how the rest of the day would play out.

I got to my appointment and got all hooked up for the NST. On Mondays I see a doctor following the NST, but on Thursdays the nurse just get a doc to sign off on the printout and I go home. This NST did not seem any different than any other to me, but when the nure went to get the doctor to sign, I waited and waited and waited. The doc came in and took my blood pressure and said she wanted me to have an ultrasound. Apparently, there were a couple of decelerations during the test (in plain English, there were several instances where Noah's heartate slowed instead of increased when he moved). Sometimes this can be caused by lack of fluid when can cause the baby to press on the umbilical cord. So, she wanted me to have an ultrasound to check the fluid level. Now, considering I had A LOT of fluid less than two weeks ago, I thought this was a little unnecessary, but I do trust my docs, so waited around for 30 minutes to be able to have the ultrasound.

As I expected, my fluid was not low. In fact, it has increased to a level that is considered polyhydramnios (too much fluid). Still not to the level it was with Grace, but just over the line into that diagnosis. I waited for the doctor to look things over. In the meantime, the nurse came in and took my blood pressure again (this was actually the third time they took it but I lost track of the second time somewhere along the way). About 20 minues later the doc came back with an envelope labeled "4th Floor - L&D." Somehow I knew she wasn't going to ask me to drop something off at Labor and Delivery for her on my way home!

Sure enough, she told me my blood pressure was measuring around 150/100 (it had been 120/82 in their office on Monday) and that that combined with the high fluid levels and decelerations on the NST made her decide it was best to send me over to the hospital to be monitored for a while. At the hospital, my blood pressure remained high, but a blood test ruled out pre-eclampsia at this point and Noah looked just fine on the NST. After about 3 hours, the doctor on call came in and told me they were going to release me (yay!! I've never made it out before til after baby was born!), but that I need to be on bed rest through the weekend. I have an appointment Monday morning and they are going to repeat some of the tests then (and basically keep repeating them to monitor everything).

I asked the doctor at the hospital how good the chances were that I would make it to my scheduled c-section on April 5th. His response: "not very good." He said that basically once I hit 36 weeks (a week from this coming Monday), if I experience any complications, they will "bail out" and go ahead and deliver me. Given my history, I know this is the safest route and given the stellar care I received with Grace, I know they will take great care of us. Still, I hope we can hold off for a few more weeks to give Noah the best possible start!

So, here I am - confined to bed until Monday. I can get up to use the bathroom, take a shower, and eat, but otherwise am supposed to stay put. We are staying with my parents so they can watch Grace and Tyler while Aaron continues with our house preparations.

We'll keep ya posted!

I'd like a WHOPPER no cheese, please!

Just a quick update on our growth ultrasound yesterday...
As background, I am having two growth ultrasounds in the third trimester because the blood pressure medicine I am taking can cause intrauterine growth retardation (in other words -- SMALL babies). When the u/s tech told me this, I just laughed because I took this medicine when pregnant with Grace (who weighed in at 8 lbs, 9 ounces at 36 weeks).

Anyway....most babies at 33 weeks weigh a little over 4 lbs. Our Noah is weighing in at (drum roll please)...

5 lbs, 14 ounces (which, by the way, is off the charts in terms of percentiles)

On top of that, I have a lot of fluid again. Not polyhydramnios yet (which I had with Grace at the end), but still a pretty high level. The combination of these two things help explain why I'm feeling so miserable (so now I don't feel so bad about complaining!)

We're still working under the assumption that he will be delivered on April 5, but the combination of large baby and excess fluid does increase the chances that I will go into labor before then (and in that case they would do the c-section whenever I went into labor). Stay tuned...

Are we there yet?

I am going to apologize in advance in case this entry seems whiny and full of complaints, but I thought it might be wise to document what I'm feeling this time since somehow this stage of my last pregnancy was miraculously erased from memory.

Every pregnancy goes through cycles. Depending on the person and the pregnancy, they may come sooner or later and be shorter or longer but as I see it most everyone goes through the following:

stage 1) surprise/sheer joy,
stage 2) daily worship at the porcelain throne,
stage 3) I feel better/sheer joy,
stage 4) wait to find out the gender,
stage 5) It's a boy/girl/sheer joy,
stage 6) wait a minute -- haven't I been pregnant for about a year already?,
stage 7) birth of baby/sheer joy,
stage 8) hormone induced amnesia (this is the part where you forget all of the bad stuff.

With 48 days to go until my scheduled c-section on April 5, I have been holding in stage 6 for a couple of weeks now. Unfortunately stage 6 was preceeded in this pregnancy by a special stage specific to our current life events:
stage 5b) we're painting the entire house and "de-cluttering" so I don't have time to think about anything else.

It's been a busy pregnancy, but nature has a way of slowing you down when it's time to slow down. My job has been painting every door in the house. Aaron takes them off the hinges and sets them up in the bedroom and I paint and paint and paint until they are done. All are now done except the doors to the laundry room and for some reason I can't face the finality that would come with finishing them (so they've been waiting on me for about 3 days now). I have great intentions to complete some of the other tasks on my lists, but the aches and pains are not making it easy.

I have become convinced in the last day or so, that Noah (an engineer like his daddy) has cracked off one of my ribs and is using it like an ice pick to chip away at my pubic bone in an attempt to "escape." I am in so much pain, I can hardly walk. And when I go somewhere and people see my hobbling around they are convinced I'm "getting ready to go." It's too early to be done and I know that. At the same time, I cannot imagine 7 more weeks of the issues I've been having. Don't get me wrong, I am so grateful to be just dealing with normal pregnancy stuff and not the life-threatening complications I faced with Grace, but wow....ouch. As I start to complain about the pains, the 100 trips to the restroom between 10pm and 6am, my excruciating backaches and several other fun things too embarassing to document here, I start to experience deja vu. I know I've said these things before, but the hormonal amnesia zapped them from memory.

We have an ultrasound on Monday (33 weeks) to monitor Noah's growth. I have a suspicion that I am growing another huge one, but we'll have a better idea after that ultrasound. I am going to the doctor now twice a week for non-stress tests because I am high risk (due to the fact that I am considered a geriatric patient in terms of pregnancy :) and my chronic hypertension - which, for the record, has been beautifully controlled this pregnancy). The first two NSTs have not been fun. During these tests you are hooked up to two monitors. The first measures contractions (I'm not having any) and the second measures the baby's heartrate. Every time he moves, I press a button and they are looking for accelerations in the heartrate after movement. Well, Aaron Jr, er I mean Noah likes to play tricks on us all. His heartate is great and he moves like crazy, but when he does he moves away from the monitor. I can HEAR his heartate accelerating, but since he's moved away, it doesn't get documented on the paper reading (which is needed for documentation and has to be recorded twice during the test). So during the last two tests, I've been strapped in a chair for an hour waiting for this little guy to cooperate. It wouldn't be so bad if I could take a nap or do something constructive, but since I have to participate in the process by pushing the button, I have to be alert. On the bright side, it is quite comforting to hear his little heart beating and hear/see him in there moving around like crazy. Two NSTs down, 13 to go.

Having been through all this twice before, I KNOW the prize at the end is so worth it. Fortunately, Grace is going through the sweetest little stage -- walking, dancing, and giving mommy kisses so I have a visible reminder on a daily basis of how rewarding it all is. Furthermore, through Tyler I can see the longer term rewards of parenting. But hey, pregnancy is NOT all fun and games...and I'm not forgetting that this time!! :)

Sunbeam, Star

Be sure to check out the brand new Maya Wrap website www.mayawrap.com (especially the 6th picture in the slide show on the front page). A while back I wrote an entry about our day at the photo shoot and here you will see Miss Grace in "action." There is another picture of her in the photo section with her "pretend mommy and brother." I should mention that Cheryl Muhr, NC photographer took the picture I'm attaching (though you can probably tell that from the copyright! :) and all of the photos on the website. As you'll see on the site, she does excellent work!

On the subject of maya wraps, while babywearing seems to be a hot new trend among celebrities and regular mommies alike, there really are some great benefits to both baby and mommy/daddy other than the "style factor." Babies who are carried cry less on average than those who are not, being carried creates the ideal environment for learning, emotional development and physical development. If you've carried a baby around with and without some type of carrier, you can vouch for the fact that a good carrier can really help ease the strain on your back! So, if you've got a baby or toddler, give babywearing a whirl!

A brief lesson in pregnancy etiquette...

Just in case there are any questions:
et·i·quette /ˈɛtɪkɪt, -ˌkɛt/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[et-i-kit, -ket] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation –noun

1.	conventional requirements as to social behavior; proprieties of conduct as established in any class or community or for any occasion.

With the definition out of the way, I would like to take a minute to address the topic of what are appropriate proprieties of conduct when dealing with pregnant women.

Just for background, I should first point out that pregnancy causes all kinds of hormonal changes in women, resulting in a gamut of emotions that cannot fully be understood by someone who hasn't experienced them. Pregnant women, in general, are extremely sensitive about their appearance. In addition to emotional changes, pregnancy brings with it skin conditions, unexplained aches and pains, and swollen extremities, not to mention the obvious changes to the belly region. During pregnancy, it seems that every day brings some kind of new "fashion challenge" as shirts are stretched to their capacity and pants either hit the underarms or continually slide down in true plumber fashion.

Having said all of that, pregnant women are painfully aware of all of these issues. As tempting as it may seem to point them out to her, don't. It will only make things worse. The hormones will cause her to 1) be completely offended by your comments and 2) remember what you said and that you said it for time and all eternity.

Now, just in case there are questions, let's go over a few of the most common (yet most unacceptable comments).

1) "You're huge!" - Easy rule of thumb here. If you wouldn't say it to a non-pregnant woman, most definitely DO NOT SAY IT TO A PREGNANT WOMAN. There is no possible way that this comment could ever be perceived by anyone other than a football player or a sumo wrestler to be a positive thing. Although it may be true, keep it to yourself.

2) "Are you sure you're not due earlier than that?" - Plain and simple, when you say that to a pregnant woman she hears "You're huge!" Refer to rule #1.

3) "Is the baby measuring large?" - Again, though the words are a little different, a pregnant woman hears...(you guessed it!) Back to rule #1.

4) "Are you sure you're not having twins?" - You probably already know what's coming. Just for informational purposes, most pregnant woman know whether or not they are having twins LONG before you can even tell they are pregnant. If they don't tell you they are having twins, don't ask.

Other comments that tie in with rule #1 include "you're really growing" (trust me, she's painfully aware), "you've popped!" (that just implies all kinds of negative things) and "hey, did I see you in a Santa suit at the mall last week?" (ok, I'll admit, someone said it to me and I thought it was hillarious - but not everyone has a sense of humor! :)

5) "Wow, you look tired/miserable, etc!" - This is another one that may seem appropriate to say to a pregnant woman, but before saying it, think to yourself "would it give ME the warm fuzzies if someone said it to me?" If the answer is no, it's best left unsaid.

I think this is a good time to point out, the very very most important rule of pregnancy etiquette that ever existed. Unless you have been specifically told that a woman is expecting a baby, never ever...I repeat...NEVER ask 1) if she is expecting a baby or 2) when she is due. This rule should appear in "How to Win Friends and Influence People" because I guarantee if you ask a non-pregnant woman this question you will do neither. Well--you may influence them, but definitely not in a positive way!

Now that we've covered some of the taboo "conversation starters," let's talk about a few things that ARE appropiate to say to a pregnant woman.

1) "You are glowing!" - This is a great one because it makes a pregnant woman feel like the little life that is causing so many changes, is also making her beautiful! Important: do remember to use these exact words. While it may seem similar, "you look flushed" comes across in a totally different way.

2) "Wow, you look great!" - While you may be thinking to yourself "Wow, you look like a great whale," omitting 3 words from that thought before letting it escape your mouth will make all the difference to the pregnant woman! You WILL win friends with this comment, guaranteed!

3) "You are going to be a great mommy!" - This last is probably the most heartwarming and appropriate comment you can make to a pregnant woman. Trust me, whether it is her first pregnancy or she has 1 or more children already, she is questioning her ability to handle it and words of encouragement are always welcome.

When all is said and done, this is what it's all about anyway. Pregnant women endure all of the bodily changes and (sometimes rude) comments from friends and strangers because they would endure ANYTHING to get the precious little one they are baking into this world. So try to remember that and hug a pregnant woman today...

BUT....keep your hands off the belly! :)

In Defense of the Big Purple Guy

My mom taught me to stand up for my friends on the playground if someone was picking on them and I feel like I am long overdue in defending Barney. Some of you have heard my Barney defense, but I now want to "publicly" stand up for my dear purple friend. I know, I know EVERYONE hates Barney. But what I can't figure out is WHY?

Now, I have to say that Aaron started out as a Barney-hater. He SWORE that his children would never watch it (he's such a dictator :)) I personally developed a soft spot for Barney when Tyler was young. He even made a guest appearance at Tyler's third birthday party!

I DVR Barney and Sesame Street -- not so I can plop Grace in front of them all day, but so there's always something on hand that's appropriate for her to watch if I need to take a shower or run a load of laundry downstairs or some other short little task. After being exposed to both Sesame Street and Barney (and listening to my heartfelt commentary), Aaron has now embraced Barney. Ok, he's not singing the theme song at the end, but he admits I have some valid points (which is HIGHLY unusual in our household...LOL)

Aaron and I grew up watching Sesame Street and it seems to be the most "socially accepted" children's show around, so it just seemed natural that we expose Grace to it. We are now re-thinking that decision. Let's analyze the characters a little:

Big Bird - Sure, he LOOKS friendly enough, but if you actually pay attention, that guy (he is a guy right?) is one whiny bird. Wah, wah, wah ALL the time.

Oscar - Need I state the obvious? Who wants their kid to think is ok to complain and be a grump all the time?

Cookie Monster -- ok, I'll admit.. I want to hug him and share cookies with him BUT "Me want a cookie" doesn't teach very good grammar. I know some health nuts also argue that Cookie Monster is responsible for childhood obesity, but I think that's taking things a little far. Carrot Monster just wouldn't be the same.

Speaking of grammar...

The Count -- I never noticed this growing up, but he cannot say the number "Seven." Instead he says "Selwin." What the heck? And when he counts higher he says "Selwinteen." If you've never noticed, pay attention next time.

Elmo - OK - I know EVERYONE loves Elmo. But how can you argue that he is any less annoying than Barney? With the squeaky voice and annoying use of the third-person ("Elmo wants to do this") this little furry guy can drive a parent insane in no time flat. And Elmo's World? You have to be kidding me. That flying computer that screams "Elmo's got mail, Elmo's got mail...over and over and over and over and over." No wonder "Elmo" is one of the first recognizable words spoken by many children. Is that a good thing? I think not. And I can't mention Elmo's World without mentioning Mr. Noodle. There are many words I could use to describe this guy, but I'm just going to settle on "creepy." I can't help but think that one day we may just see Mr. Noodle talking to Chris Hansen on Dateline.

Now, I will say that if all of the characters above were axed and Sesame Street became the Burt and Ernie show, I'd be more likely to let my children watch it. Yes, Burt is a little grumpy and eccentric and Ernie is a little goofy, but they speak correct Engligh and sing cute songs. I'll let them slide.

Having analyzed the competition, I want to explain why Barney is NOT a bad guy.

• He always uses good grammar. Some may say his voice is annoying, but I find it sweet and comforting.
  
  
• He is a fun guy. You NEVER, EVER hear Barney complain. Sure, he probably got stuck in traffic on the way to work and has to endure all kinds of harassment in daily life, but he leaves it all off-camera. My child sees a positive, happy, purple role model. Yeah, he's different, but he doesn't care. He sings great, upbeat song and hey, he can even dance!
  
  
• He teaches good lessons. Barney doesn't just exist for entertainment. He always has a good message to share with chilren. He teaches children that they are special AND that they should treat others with kindness. I think if more people paid attention to what Barney has to say, the world really could be a better place.

I know the popular stance is to hate Barney, but c'mon he's a GOOD guy -- love him. He loves you (and he'll tell you every single day if you just embrace him! :)

And now, I'll close this entry with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you!

For my little sunbeam on her first birthday

Dear Gracie Girl,

As soon as I found out I was pregnant with you, Daddy and I started calling you "sunbeam." In the car on the way to work every morning, I would sing the Sunbeam song to you and when you were big enough to be noticeable, I could feel you dancing as I sang.

Since you entered the world, you have lived up to your nickname and then some. Throughout the months, your smile has been contagious to those around you. You force strangers out of their daydreaming and into your happy little world and you have totally captivated those of us closest to you. You love life and everything and everyone in it. You haven't started walking yet because when you get on your feet, you dance (and it's kind of hard to balance that way!) :)

As I expected before you were born, you have wrapped your daddy tightly around your little finger. The two of you have a special bond and it warms mommy's heart to see you together. Your brother is smitten with you too. He is 11 and busy with all kinds of things, but he always has time to make you giggle. And you adore your "Ty Ty" as well.

Two days ago, I learned that you will be my only daughter. My sweet girl, you are all I could have ever hoped for in a daughter. You light up my life. In just a year with you I have learned that a smile really can change someone's day for the better and when in doubt, laughter always works. :) I can never put into words just how much sunshine you spread on all those around you, especially me. Thank you for making me a better person. I love you more than words can express. Happy Birthday!

Mommy

RIGHT FOR ONCE!!!

We had our big ultrasound today and I am here to claim my braggin' rites. If you'll scroll down several posts you will see that very early on I predicted this baby to be a boy and today it was confirmed. He is a very active baby who is apparently PROUD to be a boy because he let us know the second the tech put the wand on my tummy. Everything looked great! He is measuring 6 days ahead, but given our history, that's no surprise. My blood pressure was GREAT and I definitely do not have placenta previa this time. YAY!! It was a great appointment all around and we are all as excited as can be!